The Bucket List Read online

  Dammit, Jordan, that was a long time ago. She crushed the memory beneath her hiking boots and followed the GPS points farther into the gorge. As she walked, she left the memory behind, while she looked all around the clearing she’d hiked into. A small creek above her cascaded down over several rock ledges and pooled into an ankle-deep pond about five feet in diameter. Jordan sat down in the almost hidden area and watched the water tumble over the rocks, the sound soothing and mesmerizing. She closed her eyes briefly and listened to the quiet. The bright light made Jordan squint when she opened her eyes to scan the area for anything out of place.

  There was no record of when Professor James had created the bucket list, which made it difficult to know how much had changed since then. She sat on the soft grass near the water’s edge and took off her boots to remove the small pebbles that had accumulated there. Without any more thought, she stood and accepted the clear water’s invitation to walk in and cool off. Small minnows swam around her toes, as she allowed the water to ease the built-up heat and tension in her feet. She waded toward the small waterfall. A ray of sunlight broke through the trees and landed squarely on one point of the ledge, illuminating an area where the water shifted at an odd angle. Jordan squinted as her eye was drawn to something that reflected the sunlight back at her, something shiny. What the hell?

  Under one of the rock ledges, a small niche existed, hidden behind the water. Her eyes focused on the space and on an object that looked like a small, reusable water bottle. With her phone in hand, Jordan confirmed that the geocoding was turned on to capture coordinates for the object in its exact position, before she snapped a picture to document the find. She reached through the frigid water and retrieved the cylinder. There were no markings other than normal scratches and dents on the polished metal. She walked back to the area where she’d been sitting and retrieved a towel out of her backpack.

  Jordan carefully dried the cylinder and screwed off the top to pour out the contents. What’ve we got here? There were two folded pieces of paper and a small capsule about the size of a thirty-five-millimeter film canister. Engraved on the metal were the words, A drop in the bucket…ashes to ashes. A small heart separated the message from the initials TAJ and NFS. She whispered to herself, “Tybee Agnes James and Noeul Finnegan Scott.” The gravity of what she was holding in her hands hit Jordan with the force of a sledgehammer, and she reverently placed the remains of Professor James back in the cylinder.

  “Oh shit.”

  The letters still lay on the towel untouched. She felt like a tomb raider digging up ancient remains that were meant to be left in peace at their final resting place. Her stomach soured, and the guilt nearly overwhelmed her. Her search suddenly felt all wrong. Obviously, Professor Scott had visited this location again after the death of her wife and placed her remains in one of the spots Professor James had listed in the coded adventure. Why the location was important to the couple was unknown to Jordan. She was sure it held some significance in the two women’s lives. Did they get engaged here? Did they make love in this secluded area? Did they…?

  She paused, trying to determine the best way to proceed. I should close this back up, put it back, and drop this whole thing. I feel like I’m violating their privacy. She looked toward the sky. I guess it is possible Professor James might be watching me from the afterlife. She mulled all the possibilities around in her head before determining she’d already intruded on this private part of their lives. It wouldn’t be any worse if she read the letters, in comparison to what she’d already done. She carefully unfolded the first piece of paper and began to read.

  July 1, 2001

  My love,

  I know that you won’t be pleased to know I hiked in here by myself to place this first clue. Now before you scold me, let me tell you why. In a few years, we’ll leave Cornell in pursuit of a different dream, our dream. We’ve been creating a bucket list of what we want to see and do. Now it’s time to start filling the bucket with memories instead of making a list. Your next clue is listed below. Hopefully, by July of next year, you’ll have deciphered the code and we can plan our next trip.

  My life changed in epic ways the day you walked onto the campus of Cornell. Your quiet, stabilizing grace saved me. Here in this place, we had one of our most incredible dates, and I knew I would never again be without you by my side.

  So, on to our next adventure. Here is your mission—if you choose to accept it.

  Love Aggie

  Jordan read down the rest of the page to reveal the clue and pondered its meaning. She smiled at the use of the Mission Impossible line. She’d used it on Dava so many times it was automatic. Her sister’s help would be needed again, if she planned to continue the quest to find Professor Scott.

  Deep-seated guilt rose like bile in her throat, threatening to choke out her desire to continue. These were private thoughts and plans between a couple deeply in love and torn from each other by a premature death. Jordan placed the first letter on the towel and eventually picked up the second piece of paper from the cylinder.

  November 2009

  Aggie,

  I’ve been thinking about plans, the plans we made for our happy ever after. These were plans we made together and never got the chance to fulfill. The day you died, you took my heart and soul with you, and every day, I feel I lose another piece of you. I wrap my arms around your pillow at night; your lingering scent grows fainter every day. I never wanted to do this without you. Now, in your honor, I work toward experiencing everything we had left to do.

  I’ll place a part of you in each place your codes lead me to and check off the boxes beside each item on our bucket list. The memories of you keep me going, driving me to the destinations, closer to you. I’m going to build our place, Aggie, exactly like we’d planned it. I know you’ll be able to see it from where you are. I long for the day when I see your face again. Until then, I’ll remember the list and the effort you put into this adventure.

  Rest among the stars until I’m with you again my love,

  Noeul

  Jordan sat back, wiped out emotionally by what she had read. How cruel to lose the love of your life that way. I could only hope to find a love like that, although I’m not sure I’d recognize it or trust it if I did. She carefully documented the clue with photos and several notations into the research notebook she carried, before she tucked all the items back in the cylinder. Jordan was careful to reseal the canister and place it back in its final resting place. She ran her hands through her dark hair and gently tugged to relieve the tension headache she felt coming. She needed to ground herself and settle her spirit.

  A glance at her watch made her rise quickly, surprised to see an hour had passed. She gathered her things, mentally calculating the time it would take her to get back to the visitor’s desk to check out with Rick. Jordan had about a sixty-minute hike out, and it was fast approaching three in the afternoon. Turning for one final look at the area around her, she thanked the heavens for her time in this now sacred place.

  A brisk pace would allow her to reach the center in time. I need to get these seeds spread. The forecast called for rain, that should help set them. Some of the seed would be eaten by birds. The majority should get washed down to the soil bed with the rain and have a chance to sprout.

  Jordan hiked back up the trail with an empty seed bag and waved to Rick on her way out. She climbed into her Jeep, anxious to get home and call Dava to discuss what she’d found.

  Chapter Three

  NOEUL SCOTT WALKED THROUGH her walipini, an underground, greenhouse-like structure, and cut a handful of leafy greens for her evening salad. She checked the progress of her root crops and selected a ripe tomato. The cabbage looks good. I promised Kelly and Miranda their own winter stash of kimchi. I think Miranda’s as crazy about it as Aggie was. Noeul thought back to a time when she’d tried to produce enough of the spicy, pickled cabbage to satisfy Aggie’s addiction. Her wife had eaten kimchi with almost every meal since the day Noeul
first took her home to meet her parents. Noeul stopped and closed her eyes.

  “Twelve years since you left me, Aggie, and it feels like yesterday.” Noeul still thought of Aggie as alive; she was gone on a long adventure and would be arriving home any minute. Noeul sat the basket she was holding and readjusted the long, black ponytail that was now streaked with silver. Strands of hair constantly escaped the cuff-and-pin style holder that Aggie had given her during their first trip to Ireland. She’d commissioned a local silversmith and presented it to Noeul. The Celtic knot incorporated the Korean symbols for wife and infinity. It was the most cherished item Noeul owned and a reminder of their commitment. Muscular and roguishly handsome, Aggie had completely swept Noeul off her feet, literally.

  Noeul melted into the favorite memory.

  Noeul rounded the corner on the Cornell campus, smacking into another body coming at her with speed. She squealed as strong arms wrapped around and lifted her up. Startled, Noeul grasped for anything to stop her fall. When they were under control, she realized she was being held eye to eye with one of the most gorgeous women she’d ever seen. The strong arms slowly lowered her back to the ground, and a shy grin crossed the taller woman’s face.

  “I’m so sorry.” Aggie scowled at her companion. A tall, redheaded man, young enough to be a student, leaned over and held on to the bottom of his shorts. He was breathing rapidly. “Jackass over there,” Aggie pointed with her thumb, “challenged me to a race and decided to shove me off trajectory when he started losing.”

  Noeul was still too stunned to speak. She stood looking up into blue eyes the shade of a perfect sky.

  “Since we seem to have had our first embrace, how about we exchange names to make this less awkward. I’m Professor Aggie…”

  Noeul found her voice and took in the Rollerblades and helmet. “Aggie James, I know.”

  Aggie scrunched her brow up in question. “Huh?”

  Noeul blushed. “I’m Professor Noeul Scott from the agriculture department. You helped figure out the calculations for the timing on the new irrigation system with Professor Max Keller last year. I never got to meet you personally. Max was the go between. He told me all about you and pointed you out in the faculty directory.”

  The tall woman ran a hand through her sweat-soaked bangs, pushing them up under her helmet. “You know Max too? Well, I’ll have to scold him for not introducing me. Can I rectify that by buying you dinner?”

  Noeul craned her neck upward. “It might make for an easier conversation if I don’t have to keep looking up to talk with you, high tower. Sure, what time and where?”

  Aggie readjusted her helmet. “Six this evening, Fat Paddy’s.”

  Noeul grimaced and shivered. “Only if you plan to take me to the cath lab after. The amount of saturated fat in a single burger there is more than I eat in a week. Do you like curry?”

  Aggie laughed, “I could eat curry every day. The spicier the better. Rogan’s?”

  “Yes. I’ll meet you at six. Now go finish your race. And you,” Noeul pointed to the young man, “if she’s your professor, I’d think trying to cheat would reflect poorly on the impression you’re trying to make.” The redhead laughed, shook his head and saluted her.

  “See you later, Professor Scott. I think this race is over, and clearly, I’m the winner. Now, if you will excuse me, I’d like not to smell like this for dinner. Slán.”

  Speaking back to her in the same Gaelic, Noeul smiled, “Slán abhaile.”

  A look of shock crossed Aggie’s face. “You speak Gaelic?”

  “Well I do favor my Korean side. With a name like Noeul Finnegan Scott, you should have a pretty good clue where the other side of my DNA comes from.”

  Aggie laughed, the glint in her eyes full of mischief. “Marry me.”

  “Not until we’ve had our first date, Professor James. Now go, I’d like to be able to enjoy the curry without the smell of the gym locker.”

  Aggie began to skate backward, watching Noeul. “I’ll hold you to that.”

  She had. From that first date, they were inseparable and married within six months. Shaking her head at the memory, Noeul walked back outside into the sharp, bright afternoon. The sun was still high in the sky, as she turned toward the house. The unique home built into the side of a mountain near Green Bank, West Virginia was designed to take advantage of the earth’s natural thermal properties. The windows faced a breathtaking view of the expansive mountain range surrounding it. Forty feet out the front door, the property dropped three hundred feet down into a river gorge.

  “Come, Kyo.” She patted her leg to bring the border collie to heel at her side. Kyo sneezed and looked up at her, with a pink tongue lolling out of her mouth. Noeul opened the heavy sliding door into the kitchen. Large, floor-to-ceiling, thickly insulated windows faced the southern exposure and allowed the greatest amount of heat and light into the space. Kyo immediately went to her water bowl and lapped vigorously.

  “If you would quit chasing those squirrels, you wouldn’t be breathing so hard.” She looked back at the dog, who stared at her with one brown eye and one light-blue one. “I’ve never even seen you catch one, although not for lack of effort.” Kyo loped over beside her and nuzzled her hand with a wet nose, encouraging Noeul to stroke her ears. “Okay, I know. Maybe tomorrow you will. Way to be the optimist, girl.”

  She checked a stack of junk mail her friends had brought when they visited several days ago. “Oh look, Kyo. We might have won a million dollars. Too bad they spelled my name wrong on the check.” The junk was easy to identify, because her Korean name, Noeul, was anglicized to Noel. “Used to tick me off as a kid.” Noeul put a hand on her hip. “Never once did I have a key chain or a pencil without having to draw in an extra letter. Being born on Christmas didn’t help either.”

  She smiled remembering the stories her parents told of her birth and their decision to name her. Kyo whined at her. “I know, I know. You don’t have to tell me they had their reasons.” The black-and-white dog blinked at her then went to lay down. Her journal lay on the bar. Writing down her thoughts had become a habit from her research. The habit now served to exorcise the pain and heaviness of her existence. She picked the notebook up to jot down a few thoughts.

  I’m still grateful for the generous life insurance policy Aggie secured several years before she died. I’ll never know if she was concerned or just thinking far into the future. Our plan was always to be completely self- sustained and isolated from the changing world. I’ve built the house and the life exactly as we’d planned it…almost. I added a barn into the rock face, where I keep a small cache of animals. Enough chickens for eggs and a continual supply of poultry, goats for milk, and a few lambs for wool. Rico, the tuxedo cat, is a one-eyed master who keeps the mice out of the feed and still manages to supervise me in the barn.

  Kyo pawed at her, and Noeul put her finger in the journal as she carried it with her to let her companion out. She sat at the bar and continued her entry.

  Kyo, my Korean mountain dragon, isn’t much on conversation, but I couldn’t ask for a more faithful companion. The vet bill was a small price to rescue that black-and-white ball of fluff. A true border collie, she herds the animals in at night with only a nod from me. I’m beyond grateful for her company, as my solitary days have stretched into months and the months to years.

  As a way to escape nine years of sheer boredom, I’ve learned to speak French, Spanish, German, and Russian. My mother, Mi-ya, had taught me Korean, and thanks to one Finnegan Scott, I can also speak the Gaelic my great-grandfather taught him. A fat lot of good seven languages do me, since there’s no one to speak them to.

  At least I have the research I developed back at Cornell. At this point, I can graft almost anything onto any other compatible plant stalk. Back at the university, that missing link had eluded me like a lost treasure ship. After trying an entire list of variables including different types of cuts, stitching, clips, experiments with growth environments, soil types,
lighting, and dozens of other factors, I’ve finally started to see some repeatable success.

  Noeul closed the journal and went to the sink to rinse off the vegetables she’d collected earlier. I need a distraction, to lose myself for a bit. Who will it be? Ah, Thoreau will do nicely. She pulled the volume down from the shelf and headed to her small, comfortable living room. There was no television in the living room. Even if she’d wanted one, living in the National Radio Quiet Zone made it impossible to have a live feed. The area was designated free of most electromagnetic signals to allow for scientific research and military defense. A TV in the guest bedroom allowed visitors to watch movies on DVD, if desired.

  Without the distraction of the internet or television, she spent her free time reading, writing in her journal, or experimenting in the makeshift laboratory she’d set up in the greenhouse. It still wasn’t perfect, though she’d come a long way since her days working with millions of dollars of equipment at Cornell.

  Kyo jumped up against the window and startled her from her musings. “Silly dog. Get in here.” Noeul returned to the couch, and Kyo settled over her feet as she’d done since she was a puppy with a broken pelvis and shoulder. Noeul stared out at the mountains, as she stroked the dog’s soft ears. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the memory of dreaming with Aggie.

  Aggie wrapped Noeul in her arms as they lay in bed. “Windows, lots of windows out the front view. We’ll construct it for comfort, efficiency, and minimal maintenance. We’ll have a green roof with solar panels, a small windmill, and a spring-fed water supply with a geothermic heating system.”

  Noeul snuggled into Aggie’s side, drawing in the unique scent of her wife. The tropical lotion Aggie used religiously left a hint of coconut. When she was dressed up, she wore a dark, rich cologne that Noeul had created for her with the help of a friend in the fragrance industry. Hints of earth and freshly milled lumber hung around Aggie when she wore it. The scent Noeul loved most of all was the one they created together when they made love. She ran her index finger along the well-defined muscles of Aggie’s bicep.